Journeys of hope and healing
Welcome to a space where real people share their paths from addiction to recovery. Here, you'll find stories filled with joy and encouragement, showing that a better way of life is not just a dream, but a reality. Each story is a testament to the power of beginning again.
Gina's Story
“I was in active addiction since I was 13. I started doing heroin and continued using until I was 33.”
Gina is outgoing; hence, her soul shines through her eyes. Without hearing her story, you would never understand the trials and tribulations she endured to make it to where she is today.
“In 2005, I was out getting high and fell 20 feet and broke my back and my wrist, but I stayed out. I was only 70 pounds at that point. My family had to prepare my funeral. I told my mom I was going to die from this disease, that it was my destiny.
“In addiction, you live in the past of what it was like when you were a kid, standing on the corner drinking 40s or hanging out in the bar. It’s the only disease that convinces you that you don’t have a disease. It’s cunning, baffling, and powerful.”...
I am Not Defined By My Past
My addictions almost took my life. After 23 years of struggling with substance use disorders, I was so beaten down and tired of the madness that I started to think through scenarios that would end it all. I was afraid to live. I was afraid of death, but I wanted to die. I felt paralyzed and owned by a force that I couldn’t get my arms wrapped around.
Finally, I found myself smacked in the face by the recovery stick. It turned my entire world flipped upside down. But understanding what recovery actually meant, and the power it gave me, did not happen overnight.
In the beginning of my recovery, and throughout my addiction, I was ashamed of who I was and the person I had become. I believed addiction was a weakness in my character. I thought I was held back from opportunities, and I would never be good enough for certain situations.
Recovery taught me that I couldn’t have been more wrong about all that...
Lara's Story
I found myself in sobriety. I lost her along the way. The world was full of noise. It was telling me to be this and to be that. To care about things, I did not care about and to pretend everything was good, even if everything was very bad. I wish I would have known what matters and what didn’t matter. I wish the cloak of shame I wore throughout my addiction and in early sobriety would have come off quicker than it did. But, time takes time.
I grew up in an upper-middle class neighborhood in Phoenix, Arizona that was full of good people with good intentions. The problem was that the world was telling us that in order to shine we had to achieve, and compete. We had to be better than our neighbor and we had to beat them in every race.
I grew up with a high moral compass, thanks to my parents and my family. I said no to drugs and I said yes to education and experiences and people. I was always pulling back from what the world wanted me to be, while still ensuring that I was doing what the world wanted me to do. I was full of contradictions. I wanted so badly to love what I loved and to not care about popularity, and trophies, and accomplishments. But, I also wanted validation just as much...
A Personal Story of Addiction
I cannot tell you my name, or where I live, or even the specialty within which I practice medicine. I cannot do so for I have been shamed, embarrassed, and at times stigmatized. Even today, years later, I fear retribution, liability, and even prosecution. Some of this may have been deserved at one time, but today my story is one of success. It is a story of hope, of support and of recovery. I share this intimate tale so that you, my colleagues and friends in the medical field, can hear the human side of addictive disease, of its treacherous grip, and of the freedom and confidence from which I have emerged from this terrifying illness.
My drug use did not begin until medical school. I was never a drinker in high school or even in college, nor did I use drugs socially. Then, one evening when I was finding it hard to stay awake to study for an organic chemistry exam, a friend directed me to some stimulants that were available in sample form. The result was perfect. I began using the pills, rather innocently, whenever I needed a boost. To me, it was like a cup of coffee, only better. I soon learned that I could order the pills on the Internet and have a supply whenever it was needed...
Kristina's Story
My name is Kristina and I am a woman in long term recovery and what that means to me is that I haven’t found it necessary to use any mind -altering substances since October 25, 2017 and for that I am truly grateful.
My drug use started when I was in high school, with pain pills that I was prescribed to after I injured my back at a track meet. After my injury, I lost the opportunity to get a scholarship, that was offered to me. It wasn’t long before I became dependent on the pain medication...
Matthew's Story
Matthew was a typical teenager, full of adventure, mischief and zest for life. He took pride in his friendships and made many friends along life’s journey. As I look back on his life, I see someone who always tried to make other people happy, not understanding his own sadness inside.
When Matt was 13 years old he tried pot for the first time because a friend dared him to do it. He always said “my friends got my back.” He would do anything for his friends, and expected the same in return.
By the time Matt was 14 his grades were dropping in school, and we noticed his behavior changing from happy to angry and sometimes even violent. We still have holes in walls that he punched when he was out of control. Alcohol and over-the-counter medication were now in his life almost daily. He was seeing a counselor once a week without much benefit. We tried Intensive out-patient rehab programs twice, however to our horror he just learned more about what drugs were out there and how to use them...
Grief of an Overdose Death
I have experienced deep and painful grief from the death of many loved ones in my life. My husband died of a sudden heart attack in his sleep. My younger sister died of cancer. I lost both of my sons — my younger one to an accident, and my older one, who died of a substance use disorder.
My husband’s, younger son’s and sister’s deaths were considered socially acceptable to grieve. The loss I felt when I lost my older son to an overdose was painful in multiple ways and different than any other grief. I still remember the horror of him not showing up to pick me up. Calling a Lyft and coming home and seeing his light on upstairs and the music playing. The sinking feeling of realizing something was horribly wrong. Climbing the steps, finding him dead and knowing he had lost his battle with opioid addiction.
There was shame and guilt for being relieved that his battle was over and feeling the judgment of society as my son’s death was considered socially marginal — as if he somehow deserved or wanted to die because of addiction.
Drug addiction is a disease. Our society, however, does not accept it as a disease; we treat people with substance use disorders as though they can somehow control their behavior.
My son had been using opioids off and on for over 10 years. He had many years in recovery where he was not taking anything. As a parent, there is the belief that your child has finally turned the corner and you are done with the disease. There is a roller coaster of hope, loss and pure terror at the grip substance use has on your child...
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