My journey, your hope

 I started using when I was 10 years old. I started shooting up meth and drinking. I was bullied all through out the time I was in school. I was 12 when I stopped shooting and just drank. 5 days after I turned 13, my father took his life. I also started attending NA meetings. I had been in and out of the rooms, relapse after relapse. Always welcomed with open arms. I dropped out of school. When I was 17, I was pimped out by my "boyfriend," sold for a pair of shoes worth 10$. That's just one of the little amounts sold for. When he went to prison, I continued sex work by becoming an escort. Using was the easiest way to manage with no guilt. 

I met my husband through sex work. I had gotten clean because I was pregnant with my first in 2018. And then again in 2019. And again in 2020. Six months after my youngest was born, I had a couple shots with my husband and that was it. I was done. Drinking every single night, hiding alcohol, steady drunk. Then the fighting began. 

In 2023, I had stepped out on my marriage and my children for a guy who brought me to a tent and began to use in front of me while I worked to get us out the mud. Meanwhile he was sleeping with others. In July of 2023, I was kidnapped from Concord and taken to San Francisco. I was able to get away but I continued to use. It started a cycle of me being in and out of the home causing more pain to my family. 

August 2024 I was arrested in front of my children and did a 5 day sit down. It got me off of meth, but not alcohol. It also was the beginning of the end. My rock bottom. I wasn't allowed in my home and I lost my kids to CPS. They stayed with my husband. I was still in and out until I went to rehab in 2025. I graduated my program with all certificates. I started to get back on track. I had a couple more lapses, got kicked in and out of my home, until November 25, 2025.

During this whole time I have had social workers on my team helping me and guiding me while CPS was trying to make me fail. Until December.

December 4th I shattered my ankle, a week clean and sober. I got back into my home, I was in a wheelchair, but I was home. I started therapy, outpatient, parenting, NA meetings, the whole shabang I was able to do with a broken ankle going through recovery for it. I got a new social worker and things started to move forward.

March of 2026 I got an infection in my ankle. I had to go back into surgery but I was more confident this time coming out. I have been in touch with my sponsor every single day, I started working the steps, I began in person out-patient classes in May 2026, I graduated from out-patient in June of 2026, and my CPS case will be closed in July 2026.

For me, I knew I didn't want to live the life I was living. I wanted to be with my kids, which is how it initially started. Now, I have an amazing support system, social workers, therapist, church, I am finishing highschool, I take my meds daily, and I completely changed my life with the help of my sisters in recovery and my family. 

I cannot lie, it took me a few times, this time it feels right. My clean date is 11.25.2025 and I am taking it second by second. Even when life wants to throw me curve balls.